Tuesday, 10 April 2012

BATTLESHIP

Today seas the release of 'Battleship' across the country, starring Alexander Skarsgård, Liam Neeson, something called a 'Brooklyn Decker', and role model for our times, Rihanna.

#thuglife

Everyone knows it should be Battleships. Battleship singular would be a very short and unsatisfying game.

But anyway...I'm not going to review it because I haven't seen it yet. But I'm taking this opportunity to share the spreadsheet variant of Battleships so even if you decide not to see what is guaranteed to be a Jaws-droppingly fabulous filmic narrative at least you'll be the envy of your Solitaire-playing colleagues. Actually, do people still play that? Or is it all about Drawing Some bad-tempered birds rendered in sepia with a lens flare and a coffee cup? I just can't keep up with this crazy world.

For those looking to drown some sorrows as well as some seamen, there's BATTLESHOTS.

For those with a death wish, there's Gareth Aveyard's bus battleships.

But for those of us who've managed to drag ourselves away from such temptations, to the familiar yet monotonous world of the office jailhouse, there is freedom to be found in the cells.

In the beginning, a bored co-worker made this:

LINK

Which I played with him, and via email with another.

After a few months of this (imagine my glee when I discovered the 15x15 grid!) email-buddy and I decided to throw in mines and a Ca-hoo..a Chuffuu...a Hulu...a ribbiting Sea Monster!

WHO DARES TO EVEN TRY TO SPEAK MY NAME?!
LINK!

This eventually begat 'Battleships Deluxe'

LIIIII111NK!

And finally...

NOW FEATURING MORE RULAGE THAN GAME-GRID...

Umm, Battleships 2012. Haven't thought of a fancy name for it yet.

At the link it's easy!

Most of the credit for these goes to email-buddy, who did all the rules and formatting. I came up with the sirens idea, CUZ SIRENS IS PRETTY HURF DURF.

I also made this though:

Plucky: The Little Staple-Picker-Outer That Could. Coming to cinemas near you in 201?, if there's any justice in the world.