Monday, 4 May 2015

Epidural, Schmepidural

I've found a cure for back pain. Or rather nerve pain. Gotta stop telling people it's back pain, it's friggin' nerve pain; it just happens to start off in my back.

Here's an explanatory diagram which includes ASS for attention-drifters:

It's called being on holiday and having a man to carry your shit around.

LOOK HOW FUCKING HAPPY AND RELAXED I LOOK

Picture by Alex (K)

I think an important factor was the lack of standing and queuing. In Brighton I seem to spend a lot of time waiting at busy crossings for lights to change, which absolutely kills, then I'm queuing up in supermarkets for painkillers, hopping from leg to leg or standing on my right leg (the one without the pain) like a flamingo.

The lesser-spotted Midgebird. Should you see one, feed it painkillers, M&Ms, or rum (or a combination of all) and it will leave you in peace.

Sitges had lots of pedestrian crossings, which was a blessing.

I think the way I was sitting was important too. Sofas. A luxury given I'm accustomed to bedsitland. I'm typing this from my bed, spine curled. Memories of chairs at restaurants and bars with back support. So good. Not sitting at a desk for 7.5 hours a day: also good. Variety of movement is key.

Also not having to be the one that carries stuff all the time was a blessing. Picking things up and carrying them compresses the thing that is leaking out of my vertebrae and pain shoots down my leg.

So the cure is just to be on holiday forever. And a helper to do the bending and lifting. Is that available on the NHS?

If looking through other people's holiday pics is your bag, check these out!